Fundamental Baptist History

Catch A Cheating Spouse - Should You Spy?

Written by bmlengel on July 28th, 2009

Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of an unfaithful spouse. It is often a very strong need to know whether or not your spouse is cheating and exactly what kind of cheating is taking place. There are many reasons why you feel the need to spy on your significant other. These are four reasons:

1. Trust is a big reason, not trusting your significant other, but being able to trust yourself. You may have noticed that your spouse’s behavior has been changing for some time. Perhaps you confronted your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was met with denial. It is impossible to start surviving infidelity in your marriage when your still in the denial phase.

This will create a major problem because you inner voice is screaming, The pieces don’t fit! I don’t believe it!  To not listen to your gut feeling, which knows the truth, will create serious inner turmoil. When the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are not off your rocker!  Spying is a way to confirm what you suspect and be able to fully trust you own feelings.

2. When you spy, it often allows you to feel more connected to your spouse who seems to be consistently moving further away . It can be a way of still connecting with your lover who has turned into a stranger. It’s kind of like the game of hide-and-seek we played as kids.  Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it’s a game and a game includes some form of contact, some involvement. You miss the connection to your significant other and are looking for anyway to maintain at least some contact.

3. Spying on your significant other may be an honest attempt to save your marriage. You need to find out the truth. You feel as though pieces of the puzzle do not fit. You know deep down inside that there is a breach of something. You have to find out what your up against. You are not willing to take a back seat and wait. You are a person who takes action. You need some form of movement. You have to continue on with your marriage. You have to continue with your life. It becomes very difficult to maintain any form of sanity when there is a big elephant that no one is willing to say anything about. You want to know what is real, be able to face it dead on, deal with it and then be free of it. If necessary, you will have to be able to move on and consider life after divorce.

4. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often mean secrets. Secrets take a ton of work to keep!  Keeping one day in and day out has a very powerful impact. It is the proverbial elephant sitting in the room that no one dare talk about. People go the the extreme to try to ignore it, but it is still there. In a emotional aspect, it is hard to miss. Secrets are draining.

If the secrets continue, the impact will be felt in subtle ways. It can make people physically sick, sometimes seriously. Depression might set in. People begin  doing things that seem a little crazy. Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a bunch of other symptoms. Kids, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load. You want to know the truth about your spouse because you can’t continue to live with a secret. You must found out the truth about your significant other. You need to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.

If your gut is telling you that your spouse is cheating on you I would strongly recommend you read my How To Catch A Cheating Spouse Review.

Tags: catch a cheating spouse, cheating spouses, dealing with infidility, how to catch a cheating spouse, how to catch a cheating spouse review